Mile Markers of Life

Last night I had a dream that I ran a 1:30 half marathon….haaaaa I wish that was possible right now…maybe if I work really hard and have a really good race someday in the future I could run that…but that is wicked fast people. Dang.

Denver Rock n Roll is coming up quick…I wish I could say I’m prepared. I got bloodwork for mono last week and the doctor called yesterday to say that I DID have it…but the most severe part would have been a month to 6 weeks ago…that is totally crazy to me. I didn’t even know…I felt exactly the same…I had a little sick bout last week and felt like dying but now I feel pretty good. I guess I’m tired a lot…but not like they say.. like you can’t drag yourself out of bed? No…I’m not that bad at all…I still am doing everything I always did. What a blessing to have an easy case of mono. Phewy!!

The point of this is that maybe..just maybe if I’m having dreams about pushing myself and breaking through walls of ‘I can’t’ and having great races…maybe just maybe..my brain and body will listen to my heart and I can do really well despite all this crazy stuff going on.

It may not be 1:30..but hey..a girl can dream, right?

I am so bad at keeping up with this…I get on everyday to read and catch up on you people’s awesome adventures…but I never post.

I feel like a loser…I don’t even know if anyone was reading on the rare occasion that I did post about something epic like my marathon.

Truth is…this really does help motivate me..however I just feel like I am boring and uninteresting.

I need something epic.

I need a challenge.

I need something to keep me accountable.

Then maybe I’d have something interesting to say…

What should I do?? I don’t know. But I need a goal or I will go nowhere…

Ideas?

For the past few days I’ve been noticing a lot of different things that I haven’t normally dealt with…like I’ve been soooo exhausted it’s intense..not like normal tired feeling after working out but today I woke up, worked out and went to class..made it 4 hours and then I napped from 1:30-4:20 and now I feel awake but I’m sure I’ll be veryyy ready for bed. Also I just feel a general achey feeling like I hurt all over but especially my back, neck, and shoulders. I kinda ache like when you have the flu but I haven’t thrown up and I still have an appetite? Day before yesterday my neck was so sore and on the right side kinda below my ears but in the middle laterally I have these little bumps or something..inside..I thought they might be swollen lymph nodes but unsure? And my shoulders hurt so bad like the joints are just terribly sore I don’t know why…it hurts so bad like to cross in front and take off my sports bra?

 I’m not really sure what is wrong but it is kinda freakin me out and definately putting a damper on my life because I am seriously achey and tired almost all of the time.

I’m not really sure but input would be appreciate…although I’ll probably end up going to the doctor. Conveniently I’m getting regular bloodwork done on Wednesday so I guess they would see if anything is off.

Eating a smoothie in a bowl…it’s sooo yummy. Chobani pineapple greek yogurt, protein powder, milk, blueberries, and spinach with some granola on top.

And studying myself into the ground. Chemistry you are not nice.

I’m so bored.

What in the heck makes me think I can run a half marathon on October 9th AND pr or get sub-2 hours when I’m not even putting in the work? What in my brain makes me think I am capable of killing my last time when I’m not even running hardly at all? Sorry guys I have to give myself a dose of honesty and you get to read it…I haven’t run more than 3 miles since…September 5th. I workout constantly and I get a lot of cardio which I think is my way of saying..you are fit. You don’t need to run today..maybe tomorrow..and then tomorrow rolls around and I say..eh. Tomorrow’s the day.

That’s not gonna cut it, Grace.

Man up..it’s time to woman the fuck up.

I’m sick of this…if I want a PR I’m gonna have to kick it into high gear for this last month..pretty pathetic that it’s taken this long to don on me that I consider myself a runner but I don’t even run? What the eff is up with that…

No but really. I can do anything I put my mind to and so can you.

We just have to do it.

end rant….

It’s pouring and it’s supposed to continue for the next couple of days. Brrr

Oh my aching hamstrings..it hurts to sit. My butt hurts. It hurts to go up stairs. My quads..ow. My hips..ow. Ow Ow Ow!

Squats and Lunges baby.

Remember when I said she came in with an IronMan water bottle and that she rode her bike to work everyday??

Well I was bored of my homework and googled her name…race time upon race times listed. It made me squeel for joy…how did I get so lucky to get HER as an english teacher????????????? I do not even know…but I am so excited.

She did Rock n Roll Denver last year in 3:46….FAST..it’s totally cool how people get placed in your life and you don’t know how awesome they’ll be. I chose an english class randomly and I just happened to get a marathoning Ironman…wow. COOOOOL.

This made my Saturday…only other runners or obsessed athletes would understand..which you all are :) yay!

I am in such a funk right now and I just need something to change.

I need something new to live for.

I need to feel empowered and strong again.

Something has to change…

The change starts now.

The change starts today.

It’s a new beginning.

I’m so ready.

I discovered several AWESOME things about my english professor today.

She bikes to work everyday

She walked in with her helmet in one hand and an IronMan water bottle in the other

She is buff and incredibly hilarious and sarcastic

She earned major cool points in my book today!! It’s exciting to have good teachers that you actually want to listen to.

I’m not really sure what to write about this race. A lot of mistakes were made, lots of lessons learned, and a few curse words thrown.

I woke up this morning at 5:20..my attitude was ‘whatever.’ I was not in the mood to race. Sometimes you are raring and ready to go and some days are like today. I was groggy and my legs didn’t feel like they had any push at all. I felt frazzled and unorganized as I made my way to the start line..almost late might I add..about 2 minutes from the gun. I guess just since it was in my town on my trail that it didn’t feel like an actual race and that could be problem #1. I didn’t feel like racing so I didn’t put forth much effort or motivation.

Problem #2 would be that I  didn’t taper or rest in any way shape or form. Dumb! Oooops! I worked out the whole week and my last rest day was last Saturday. My bad…Sometimes I feel like Superwoman and think I can do anything and everything but my body and legs often have a protest. My legs were already tired at the start because I didn’t give them any rest..so by mile 2.5 I was cooked. I wanted to quit and call my mom to come get me..afterall the race entry was only $55.

At about mile 4 I ran into BeckyC..she was doing 3min walking and 3min running because of IT band issues so I joined her because at least it made me run and not walk for extended periods of time! We talked and eventually crossed the halfway point and then finished soon(not really) after that. We got our pretty medals and some pizza, bananas, and oranges and I plopped down and said..never again..never again will I make silly mistakes like that prior to a race whether it is a stepping stone race or an actual race where I am trying to PR. It’s silly to put yourself through that…I know you may think you are superman and can handle it..but a lot of times your body will say otherwise and force you to take it at it’s pace…and that’s never fun. Races are way more fun when your body is rested and well prepared..where your heart and mind take over and steer you to the finish.

This was my worst half marathon to date. I did a lot of things wrong, I wasn’t prepared, and I didn’t have motivation to put forth effort..but I’m not upset at all. I am disappointed that I didn’t use more sense and rest beforehand and hydrate better..but I’m not mad about how it turned out. I did the best I could with what I had left of my tired body and ran with it. This was more of a training run on the road to Rock n Roll Denver…in which I fully intend to kick some serious asssssss! I will rest, hydrate, eat everything right, treat my body well…and I will let my heart take over when my body wants to quit..and I will get a PR. I’m so ready. Bring it.

Not at all!!

Anyway…doing a Half Marathon today I’m hoping for a PR but I’m not sure how everything will work out. We’ll see I suppose!