Photo

Yo I moved into phase 3 of livefit this week and I think I actually melted onto the treadmill. First an upper body workout with core focused cardio in supersets with heavy 15 rep sets of lifting. Then at the end you see a harmless thirty minute run. A little red flag tells you there’s extra instructions. Yeah, those little extra instructions say: 30 sec sprints, thirty of them, level 8. Now, 7:30min miles might not seem much for you but holy damn that was hard for me. I’m sitting in the stretching room with sweat physically rolling down my forehead, I feel like four different spots just right now. If this workout didn’t kick my ass out of my cold and into this new week I don’t know what will.

Welcome to phase three, bitches.

Text

Greetings from Colorado, where one day it’s 75 and you’re sweating down your back walking into the gym and the next day you’re wearing a vest and boots because it’s 35 degrees and trying to spit snow. Also, tomorrow is gonna be back to mid seventies.
My workout train came to a tiny halt yesterday because I have gotten myself sick. I guess going to school full time and trying to work two jobs runs you down? I was in the gym parking lot willing myself to do the stair stepper and try to sweat the devil out but I just couldn’t. Too tired. Too worn. So I went home and had 35 sum ounces of soup instead.

Today I am fighting it off hard, I’m doing every stupid little trick I’ve ever heard of and done to try to make this as short lived as possible. I’m busy. I’ve got shit to do. I’ve got dreams and goals. Like damn! Get outta here! I got myself a big Ass serving of pho and ate all of it. Chicken broth is supposed to help as is the zinc lossenge every three hours. Get. Out. Sickness. I’ve got things to accomplish.

Photo

Progress is tangible. Satisfaction unlocked. Cha ching. Feeling invincible.

Photo

This is vitally important to my happiness. I learned today the problems to encounter when you have to jobs. I worked last night 7-1am and then had to go to work at my other job today 6:30-1:30. The chance of them getting scheduled like that was a first but it sucked total Ass. That was like the shittiest twelve hour shift I’ve ever encountered because it was split. I would literally rather sleep in the late afternoon and work 7-7 rather than having it split all shitty like that with four hours in between. Eff that shit man. So I’m in my car after class work work class eating my delicious snack and reviving with the greatest lifesaver of all existence: PSL.

Text

As I sit here contemplating life, annoyed with myself for hitting snooze so many times… I have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea. I’ve thought about moving my phone charger to the other side of the room so I am forced to get up, but even still, I could still climb back in bed. I have a mini keurig and I have a shelf right by where I would put my phone.

OK that’s it, coffee ready to brew right in my bedroom. Hahahaha that way I will get up with my first alarm, probably an hour at least earlier than the amount of times I hit snooze. That’s it. That’s the next step. Lol I was in denial but now I’m accepting it. I need more time in the morning and I just need to freaking get my Ass out of bed.

Coffee is the answer.

Photo

Proof. Ultimate toilet shot. Ultimate toilet shot daisy dukes fit and don’t look half bad shot. Proud shot. Happy shot. Motivating shot. Also, go Broncos.

Text

Something happened. Something I’ve been waiting for. Something that would show me my efforts have been successful and useful and important. I feel like I look smaller. I’m getting more lean and looking a tiny bit more like the athlete I want to be each day. This journey is legit becoming real. I am changing my life, it’s being transformed and I can’t contain my excitement. I tried this a few weeks ago and they still didn’t pass the test.

In the beginning, they wouldn’t even fit over my butt and hips, no way they would button because I couldn’t get them on.

Today… Just to see, just for fun… I tried on my denim shorts. The ones that fit me when I was in high school.

They fit.

Photo

Today was one of those days where you think there is absolutely no way you’ll be able to muster the energy. That was so hard. I basically lulled myself to sleep reading for school in the library. I layed in my car feeling sorry for myself for a good ten minutes before going in and hitting chest, triceps, and abs. Speaking of abs, metaphorically speaking if you accidently rip a fart on an ab machine and burp on the stair stepper that is totally fine because it’s your damn workout. I got interupted and hit on by an old man and then a junior in high school within ten minutes.

But I finished my freaking workout. Proud.

Photo

And another leg day comes to a close. I’m proud of how consistent I’m being even with the start of school and working two jobs. I want this… I want to change, I want to be shocked by what my body can do, and I just wanna look good. This is for nobody else other than myself…. All those months where working out was a chore, a horrible unbearable boring chore have passed. I love it again. It’s fun. It’s inspiring. It keeps things interesting when you can’t really walk the next day because your legs are so sore. It’s epic. It gives me something to work towards. It matters.

I was just drinking my water and finishing up my workout tracker and looked at the glass…. I’m the same, yet very different. I’m loving who I see looking back at me more and more each day. I like how my arms look in this blurry, dorky gym shot. Progress is fun. Progress is worth it. Progress matters, even if it’s small.

Photo

I’m feeling pretty good about myself today. Other than the random social drinks and a few cravings I decided to fulfill, I’ve been completely consistent for 5 whole weeks. This has never ever ever happened. Ever. I’ve only missed one workout, something I’m more proud of that anything. Two months ago it was a complete battle to even get to the gym twice a week, and let’s be honest thos workouts were wussy fests. I am really proud of myself for this. Truly this time I believe I to be a lifestyle change.

I was stuck in the depths. I had a chain of laziness, self loathing, and self sabotage welded to my ankles. Metaphorically, I had the gun, the saw, the keys, and whatever other tool to unlock this thing that had been holding me back for over a year. I’m not sure what it was, but something just clicked in my head. I realized I couldn’t keep going the way I was going. I would get sick. Mentally and emotionally I already was. Poor body image can be a disease if you let it get away. I was already emotionally and mentally sick, I wasn’t ready to be physically sick. Being a future nurse and knowing what sick is, what comes if you don’t take care of yourself, that terrifies me. So I changed.

This is the only fucking body you have. If you’re stuck in the depths, figure out what it takes to get loose and begin your ascent to better places…. It’s really freaking worth it.

Text

That awkward moment when you’re eating sushi in your car in the gym parking lot before going in and a family of 6 slowly gets into the car next to you, one by one looking at the sushi and eyeing you. People, no matter how hard you try I will not make eye contact. I have sushi and you don’t.

Photo Set

So workout. Much sweat. Very endorphins.

I feel better.

Photo

I can’t think of any one reason I would want to be a nurse, but I can think of a thousand why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose. There are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it’s more than just a game and you either take a step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit, but here’s the thing… I love the playing field.

Photo

Okay, can I just take a moment to be really excited… This struggle isn’t in vain. I feel like I look the same but have committed to a year of monthly pictures because the scale is a liar and I learn by seeing. I’m growing stronger everyday. I’m getting fitter everyday. My dreams, my desires, what makes me tick is all within reach, all within myself. I am definitely not stopping now. I think I actually turned a legitimate corner. We always say we are going to change, maybe stick with it for a few weeks or maybe even a month, but the attitude and lifestyle never got the adjustment they needed. I think it finally happened to me. I also think making the choice that I was unhappy and doing this for myself, no one else helper a great deal. For real. I am really happy and actually quite surprised by this, but here we go…July 22 to today, August 19.

Again I’ll say it.

I want to be a boss ass bitch. I want to be fit as hell. I want to be a rock star. I want to be buff as shit.

I am a work in progress. I am under construction. My body is my canvas, I am constantly being renovated. New and improved each day I make the decision to try. We all are. This is what it’s all about.

If your fire goes out, relight that shit. It has no use for you if its dim or out. Relight the fire, regain the flame.

Go and conquer. Be better. Do better. Do you.

Photo

You know how sometimes something that once came so easy feels so out of reach?
Running.
Running and I have a special relationship. I started one new years day when I was fifteen because I didn’t like how I looked or felt. Four 5k’s, a 10k, ten half marathon, a full marathon, six varied distance triathlons, and three epic relays, I’ve covered some miles and gained a huge love for running.

After starting nursing school this past year and gaining weight and busy laziness, me and running had a falling out. I can’t remember the last time I ran before the epic relay. It’s been a while to say the least!! But I decided that running and racing is something I really love and that I wanted to rekindle the fire!!

I am signed up for a 10k in October and one in November. This is the starting point and the kickoff for the next four years of my life. Tentatively, ideally, I have it in mind to tackle 140.6 in my 25th year. That is incentive. That is fire. There’s plenty of time, but that’s the goal at this moment.

Ironman Boulder 2018.